The cure of Staring at Genitals OCD

//The cure of Staring at Genitals OCD

First of all, we have a Facebook support group for this issue.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/OCDstarring/

You are welcome to join. But please answer the application questions, because we don’t accept anyone.

What’s staring OCD ?

It is an issue that you don’t want to stare at people’s genitals ,or scared at looking at people’s genitals , so you end up actually staring at these areas.

Let’s say you meet an attractive female ,you keep telling yourself that you don’t want to look at her breasts , so you end up actually staring at her breasts. And she actually notices your perverted staring and gets disgusted from you. Maybe she looks down or adjust her blouse..etc,

Staring OCD

Or maybe at work, you don’t want to creep your co-workers, so you end up staring at their privates all day long. And they all notice your staring and get disgusted from you. Or think you are gay!

I heard that some people have this fear of staring ,but don’t actually stare. I know that OCD is hard to live with ,but I am pretty sure it’s much easier for these who don’t stare to live by, than the people who actually stare!

I had lived with Pure-O (Pure obsessions) before , it is hard and depressing ,but still much easier than staring at your family members genitals,including kids! It is like comparing between cancer and Chronic Migraine.

Some people segregate staring into “Private staring” and “Peripheral staring”. I really can’t relate to this. Staring is staring! you always stare at genitals ,whether they are in front of you or at your side. It is the same thing to me. And luckily this article will help you if you have either issue.

Is it OCD ?

I totally believe it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Because most of people (not all) I talked to, had a history of depression and OCD before “catching” this disease. Other people got staring OCD as their first obsession.

For me it had started with depression at age 16,then later on I obsessed about HIV and homophobia , then a series of different obsessions ,then I started to stare.

It is not Tourette’s , it is not a mysterious neurological disorder. It is actually OCD ,and it is important to acknowledge this ,before explaining the cure.

The elements of Staring OCD:

To treat staring OCD,we have to acknowledge it’s full spectrum of issues. And tackle all of them .All people focus solely on the “Eye movement” issue , but there is much more going on, beyond eye movements.

Staring OCD

People on the Facebook group (or forums) write about “Techniques” that deal with the involuntary eye movement, but they ignore the root problem.

Staring OCD has 3 elements:

1 – Obsessions: That’s the root cause of staring. You ruminate all day about staring at people’s genitals ,for months and years. You go out then actually stare.

You go home blame yourself,feel bad , keep ruminating and obsessing ,then stare again and again, in endless cycle.

Some people say “They don’t think about staring”.. that’s not true at all . You had an issue of intrusive and obsessive thoughts before developing staring. These obsessive mind still hasn’t got cured. You are still obsessing in a faulty way , whether you feel it or not.

2-Staring: This is the second issue we have to deal with. I believe it is a “Trained reflex” or Acquired Reflex , like a boxer trained to block fast punches in milliseconds , or baseball player trained to catch a fast ball..etc,

You trained your eyes to instantly stare , so it has become a “reflex” embedded in your body and mind.

How? You obsess about staring,you go to a social interaction and keep telling yourself “don’t stare here,don’t stare here“..you brain get’s a signal of the exact location you are avoiding , then this signal is sent to your eyes ,then you stare. All in milliseconds..

It is like trying to avoid thinking of a purple elephant all day. So of course ,all you think about all day is a a purple elephant.

It is an acquired reflex , but the good news is that you can “untrain” your body from keeping doing it.

Yes, staring is curable and you can end this reflex. It is not a reflex you are born with ,like the gag reflex or the heart movements. It is something you have developed over the years , and it can be “undeveloped” again. Gradually!

3-Compulsions:

This is the 3rd element of Staring OCD ,and it has to be dealt with as well. Some people mistakenly think that compulsions are “Staring”..no!

Compulsions are physical and mental acts ,that try to ease or compensate the negatives of obsessions. These are the list of compulsions that need to be dealt with:

  • Avoiding social situations
  • Trying to make social interactions very short
  • Stare hard into someone’s eyes to avoid genital staring
  • Blocking your view with your arms
  • Turning your head away or looking down.
  • wearing dark glasses
  • Closing your eyes
  • Thinking your way out of staring
  • Ruminating about solutions
  • Not focusing on the conversation and occupy yourself with solutions to staring
  • Tensing your body,flexing your face and eyes muscles
  • ..etc,

This is the “Triangle” of staring OCD. And to effectively treat it,we have to deal with the whole triangle , not just the “reflex” as sufferers focus , nor just the obsessions and compulsions as psychiatrists focus..

My Old method to cure staring OCD:

We are human beings, we can do anything we set our mind to. We can’t be defeated by a disease. That had been my mindset for the last year ,until I developed a cure.

But why last year ?

To answer this question , I want to discuss with you the methods I had tried before to cope with this disease.

20 years ago I had no clue what was this. The only thing good I benefited from psychiatrists was that they told me it is OCD.

They kept trying SSRIs after SSRIs , then another anti Psychosis drugs..etc, None of them helped much , the only thing I got from these was big weight gain.

I bought books about OCD since I was 17 , I tried exposure , loop tapes..etc, The Book “Imp of the mind” by Lee Baer has a section or a story about staring OCD. But it discuses an idea , not a system or exercises to implement…

I guess after years not being able to treat myself , I kinda accepted it. My life wasn’t very bad . I had some friends ,  I got married ,  I had goals and dreams. Staring was still there , but not debilitating.

After I got married and had my first daughter , I kinda got cured. My mindset was , I don’t care about staring at all , if it happens , it happens. If I creep people , then be it . So it was minimal , I kinda forgot it because it wasn’t interfering much. What was the worst thing that can happen when I stare ? Nothing…

I was married , I had my own successful online business , so it was logical that I don’t care about people’s opinion. I didn’t need them at all. I also migrated to another country where I don’t have family or friends . So I haven’t been going to any social situations that trigger staring.

I noticed staring while in public transport, I ignored it and I accepted the idea of creeping people there , so it died as well.

I kept on giving people advice on the Facebook group, that the way to cure is to ignore what people think of you . Or even go creep people on purpose and stare at them!

While this advice is true ,and it works. But it is not very applicable , nor sustainable .

You can’t meet your family and stare at 4 years old kids. You can’t go to your boss at work and stare intensely at his private areas. You can’t meet your brother’s wife and stare at her tits. Props to you if you can , but lots of people can’t. And I now relate with them.

I didn’t relate with my fellow sufferers of this disease , because people weren’t important to me. They (people) was important to them (sufferers). Not all people have independent online business like me.  I thought they (sufferers) were whiners and pussies by not putting themselves out there and fully expose themselves.

But I got divorced last year (nothing related to staring). And I started to go out to meet women. Be it on Tinder dates , or speaking to them on the streets or at bars and clubs.

At the first couple of months I was doing OK in terms of staring, I was able to talk to women , staring was minimal. But as time had gone by , staring started to increase gradually.

I had been through that cycle: I minimally stared to a girl I talked to , then she had a bad reaction , then I got reactive , and I went into a downward spiral.

Staring got a hold of me again. It had become stronger and stronger day after day. It had become debilitating again. Not just with girls , but with everyone. Even the people I didn’t care about. Staring had started to spread like cancer into my life. AGAIN!

Because now I care about people. I care about women’s approval , I want to have a girlfriend and to have sex of course. And since I care about people , it is now harder to apply my old method , which was basically “Don’t care about people, let staring happen!”

Other issue about my old method , “Let staring happen , don’t resist it!” , is that it is a reactive method , not proactive. It means that you accept you are a slave to staring , and try to live your life normally.

You are not taking action towards the issue , you are not challenging it. And I believe nothing good comes from not making an effort.

It is similar to being fat , then you tell yourself that you will live a happy life and have a blast being fat. You then accept being fat , you go buy good clothes , you go meet women…etc,

But you are still fat , accepting that isn’t the best route in life , it is much better to eat healthy and lean down , than to surrender to your status and try to live a happy life. Yes you can live happily being fat , but it is not the right route.

So I said enough is enough , it is time to challenge this disease , and I had the mindset that I will cure it no matter what. If there is a will , there is a way.

New Cure for staring OCD (that works)!:

Before explaining the cure, I want to emphasise on something: You have intense staring now, it is spread in your body and mind like cancer. Let’s say staring intensity is 100% now.

So after weeks of doing these exercises (or less time) , staring may become 80% or 90%. Which is still intense! You may feel you are not making progress, but your feelings are wrong.

After beginning these exercises staring will persist , but less than before,so don’t get demotivated or worried. Keep doing the exercises and in few months you will be 100% Free!

It is like a fat guy that starts a weight loss journey. Today he is 100 Kg , after 2 weeks he is 98 kg , there is a progress , but he is still fat! So don’t get discouraged.

Second thing I want to say , is that you will feel the effect of these exercises from day one. And these are exercises that you can do anywhere!

You will be thrilled from the results,almost unbelievable,so you will be hooked on doing them consistently.

Dealing with the eye reflex:

I wrote that to cure staring OCD you have to deal with the 3 corners of the triangle. Obsessions,Compulsions and Eye reflex.

I developed exercises, that deal with the 3 issues at the same time. Logically because when you are at social interactions , the 3 issues happen simultaneously.

So how to deal with the eye reflex ? How to “untrain” our minds and bodies to stop this reflex?

An analogy would be, the boxer. When a boxer receives a punch towards his face, he quickly sways his head, as a trained reflex. To untrain the boxer from this reflex, he should reverse it. So he should start to intentionally move his head towards the punches!

At first , for every 100 punches he receives , he may be able to move his head towards 5 or 10 punches. Because the “trained” reflex is still deep inside him. But after a while of training, he will develop a new reflex , to move his head towards punches.

So how is that applicable to staring OCD? We have developed a reflex to resist staring at private parts. Huge huge resistance and fear of looking at private parts, you have no idea of this resistance until you try the exercises.

So to reverse this reflex, we have to train ourselves on the opposite, which is to stare intensely at these areas , for long times, without doing any “compulsions”.

We are doing the exact opposite of what we are used to, we are used to resist eyes movements, so we have to get used to stop resisting completely.

This is not applicable in real life situations. It is really really difficult to meet someone , then stare intensely at his groin , then keep talking for 10 minutes without lifting your eyes off his groin. Yes you can glance at it,you can talk and ignore the occasional staring, but fixating your eyes consistently at his groin for 10 minutes is very difficult.

So where to do this exercise? And how?

It has started with me after divorce. When I started to watch “Pickup” videos on Youtube. Where guys speak to girls. These videos triggered anxiety and actual staring. I felt like staring at the girls in the videos. I also imagined myself in the shoes of these guys and I kept staring at the girls in the videos. Very similar to what I would do in real life.

sets

So I started to stare intentionally at the private areas of the girls in videos. To relieve my anxiety and resistance.

Then I started to download pictures of situations I fear. (I am still doing that)

I’d go out to talk with girls, then when I get back home I’d search for similar pictures to situations that triggered staring , and then keep staring intensely at it.

Let me give you an example for exercises to do. Let’s say you are in the tram , and a guy in front of you is triggering staring.

What you would do , is to go back home and download a picture like this:

stare ocd

And stare at his groin for minutes. You need to use the power of your imagination. You have to imagine you are actually in the tram and he is sitting across you. Don’t ignore this step ,or else it wouldn’t be very effective. Your mind can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality.

You will feel huge resistance when you fixate your eyes on his groin. You are trained to “resist” this area and you are doing the opposite now.

You may also feel slight pain in your brain , which is a very good feeling and an indication you are shaking a huge weight in your mind. Years of rotten reflexes.

And keep imagining you are actually in the tram and he is really infront of you. Try to replicate the actual feelings that come to you at the tram!

Exercise 2:

Imagine (and I repeat, use imagination beside pictures) , you are talking to these group of girls.

Normally your eyes will pick the most embarrassing place to look at while speaking to them.

Here what you should do , is to see where your eyes pick to stare , then have a conversation with these girls while fixating your eyes at this forbidden area.

Stare intensely where fear to stare is triggered , and keep talking for 5-10 minutes . I used to look at “Date questions” on my phone , then answer these questions while staring. You will feel your mind is blocked at giving throughout answers because you are occupied by resisting staring.

And here where you deal with compulsions at the same time. While doing these exercises you will feel compelled to resist your eyes movements , compelled to flex your eyes and face muscles , compelled to give short answers and asking short questions..etc,

Here where you can deal with compulsions , do the most things that make you uncomfortable , from the comfort of your home! I want you to detect and learn your compulsions and stop doing them during the exercises. It needs practice and experience to know the compulsions.

And I used videos too. Before, my staring was triggered strongly by excessive hand gestures . So I watched this video repeatedly while staring at the girls hands.

Notice the girl is wearing a revealing top. That what makes hand gestures very triggering in this case , because when my eyes follow the hands , the girl will think I am staring at her boobs. Your brain is clever at picking up the most embarrassing things to to.

Even better exercises to do !:

For months of staring at photos and videos , I was making good progress. But I felt something is missing. I go to social interactions , I still stare (but much less) , then I couldn’t replicate these situations in pictures and videos.

I didn’t feel the same anxiety and staring when I looked at the pictures , compared to the real situation.

So  I read about a study that demonstrated you can gain strength and muscle size using your imagination! (source dailymail)

And “Imaginal exposure” is actually well documented in science (source).

So I used two methods for imaginal exposure , the first method , is when I notice staring triggering situations in real life , I go back home and re-imagine the exact situation , then stare at the feared areas. Then keep staring and talking to people in my imagination.

Very very powerful exercise , you have to try it to believe it. You have to feel the pain of opposing the long rotten reflex in your brain. You will feel so much relief.

I used to question and doubt the efficacy of Imaginal exposure for a long time. Keep your mind open , and try it before you judge it!

Dealing with obsessions:

I said before , that obsessions are the fuel to staring. Doing above exercises will not go far , if strong obsessions are hindering you. It is like an uphill battle.

So how to deal with obsessions ?

By two methods.

For me, the strongest trigger to obsessions and ruminations is imagining an upcoming social situation , and how you will stare at this situation , how you will ruin the interaction and fuck up your life. How you will creep people at these situations..etc,

And you keep ruminating about solutions all day. Keep thinking about things to ease your mind and make you feel better.

So you keep doing this over and over for years without seems to stop.

So what I’ve started to do , is to use the above imaginal exercise to stop obsessions. How?

Whenever a social situation pop up in my mind , then I start to anticipate staring and ruminate about solution. I start to challenge my mind.

I imagine myself in these situation , and keep staring intensely for minutes at private parts. And talk to people and creep them.

It is very very enjoyable exercise. You feel free from the prison of obsessions . You feel free from pain.

The social situations will keep popping in your mind. Take advantage of them ! Imagine yourself a these situations , and how staring is intense there..then keep staring. Doing the opposite of what your mind wants you to do! Your mind wants you to seek solutions , no , challenge it and put yourself in these situations!

That’s much more powerful than pictures , because your mind can create more scary situations. Your mind also always pick for you horrible scenarios. Thanks mind for giving us valuable exercises!

So you will cut the loop of obsessions by challenging them , and putting yourself inside the social situations that your mind scare you about.

Add to this , when you go to a social situation that triggers staring , you can go to the bathroom or isolated area , the images of the situation are fresh in your mind. Imagine them and stare stare stare , then talk to people in your mind (lengthy talk) while staring.

Doing the above exercises (Photos, videos, Imagination) will give you results in few days. You will notice these results and be hooked to do these exercises forever.

This article has not been finished yet . I still want to talk about “Anxiety” , “Accepting Staring”..etc, More to come !

2019-04-12T04:35:11+00:00 25 February 2018|Categories: Uncategorized|24 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Vanessa June 13, 2019 at 10:50 pm - Reply

    Thanks for all the information you provide, it makes sense for me. I’ll prove it for sure.I’m starting to suffer the consecuenses of that, I quit a job for that reason, I have troubles in the classroom, I can’t stay in a bus for so long or in a bank. Basically this behavior take control over me. It’s annoying think about all the things I want in the future and the possibility that I couldn’t do it because of that. So I’m open for any advice. Right now I can’t visit a psychologist because I don’t have the possibility so I need a strong beginning.

  2. shelly June 18, 2019 at 9:28 pm - Reply

    thanks so much for your advice, I’ve become a hermit again and avoiding people, bless you for this advice

  3. Bob July 7, 2019 at 6:41 pm - Reply

    Has this works for anyone else yet?
    I started taking milk thistle for the crazy ocd thing. I also have social anxiety and I have been taking a cbd isolate that helps. I have been improving with these but it varies with situation.
    I don’t use facebook. If anyone wants to talk about it you can email me at thatcrazyocdthing@protonmail.com

  4. Victor July 14, 2019 at 9:35 am - Reply

    Same to me.My co workers also speaking and thinking bad about me,and ever want to fight for this cause.So is there any medications that can help?Thanks.

  5. Soju Joseph July 20, 2019 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    Hello I am right now in a phase of my life where I am overwhelmed with this crazy situation,I am suffering this situation for more than 2 year, I’m in sales job I will be doing what you have specified here and will be coming back again and again .
    I hope it will work .

  6. Bill July 20, 2019 at 8:36 pm - Reply

    I see how you are following logic with the OCD pattern, and with your suggested behaviors.

    However, let’s say that, people are glancing/staring at private parts because they have an INTEREST in seeing the crotch or breasts of another person. So, now the goal would be, how do I achieve being interested in things that are other than what somebody’s crotch or breasts or butt looks like?

    And I believe this is what the average person accomplishes. When you see a person, what their crotch looks like simply doesn’t matter. Sure, it looks like something. But everybody has a body, so do you. This is a surprising discovery when you grow up in a world where everyone wears clothes.

    But, over time, you find out it’s not a big deal. You just look at people face/head/eyes, you connect with them on an abstract level, and you connect with the ideas on an abstract level. Don’t just be simple and stare at people bodies, get beyond the physical realm.

    Also, don’t freak out. Why does someone get depressed? Because they obsess about their own problems, instead of putting all their focus into changing their lives for the better. You could say, “oh, problems will always exist, there’s no point”, and on one level, that’s true, and that’s how life is. So, you take that for what it is, and then you commit to being positive, uplifting others, serving those who serve others, being friendly, being good, loving life.

    When you enter a room, you carry an energy. Others are affected by your energy. Even after you leave, the energy you brought will still be there. So, be a good energy. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable and don’t be obsessed with what could be wrong with you.

    You know the problem is the obsession. So, the only option is to go AWAY FROM THE OBSESSION. How do you do that? Don’t think about it all day long. And certainly, spending tons of times staring at people’s crotches with pictures and your imagination seems like a ridiculous attempt at a solution now.

    You’ve heard the wise advice before. “You are what you repeatedly do.” “How you do anything is how you do everything.” “It starts with your thoughts.”

    Don’t spend time on it, beyond saying, “I’m going to respect people, respect myself, and there’s no staring at private areas when you want to live your life like this.”

    Pretty soon, you are beyond it. You see a person, converse with a person. Both of you have bodies, both of you have private areas, you’re both wearing clothes, you both have eyeballs, you both can tell where the other’s eyeballs are aiming at,

    BUT, you both have families, you both have long lives, you both impact the lives of others, you both have hobbies, goals, joys, and fears.

    Get beyond this dumb obsession, it ain’t worth it. And it isn’t you. So, how do you make sure it’s not a part of you?

    Don’t think about it excessively. If you think about it, say a few things to yourself, and then move on to something else. There’s endless helpful and engaging videos on the net. And there are endless harmful and shameful videos on the net, as well.

    Do not spend your time on the internet staring at people’s bodies. If you do this, then your options become very limited. Your options of who you engage with and how you engage with them becomes limited.

    This culture we are in has tons of sex products, sex messages, sex is everything, blah, blah.

    They aren’t right. Anyone who lives a good life of engaging with others wholesomely doesn’t simply focus on the body and sex. You need to not engage with these thoughts and habits.

    Do something else. Rid yourself of the obsession. You are not trapped. You are not wrong. You are just like anybody else.

    It is expected to go through many stages of awakening during your time as a human. Don’t just get stuck on this one, however it works for you.

    Don’t be obsessed with your problems, go the other way.

    What they say is that the pessimist, the endless problem finder, lives a sad life. I’m not saying don’t ever look at problems, it is definitely necessary, but avoid being obsessed with it.

    Pay attention to what you do every day. Pay attention to what you think about.

    Anything with porn or body focus or sex focus or whatever (tons of popular media has this, and yes, it’s messing with a lot of people’s lives and minds, despite how it’s portrayed as normal or glamorous).

    There is always a price to pay for spending a lot of time with this type of material. Be above it, be wholesome, don’t be obsessed with sex or bodies. Your coworkers, family members, random people, they are PEOPLE. They are living lives, they have sexuality, as well, but there’s nothing forcing you to just stop there and obsess with it. What else can you do with yourself? You can go a long way from where you are now. Trust me.

    And YES, IT TAKES TIME! They say, do not set the goal to build a giant wall. Set the goal to lay one brick, and make sure that brick is laid very well. The next day, do it again, don’t be lazy, don’t be impatient, lay that brick as well as you can. Pretty soon, before you know it, you have a strong wall.

    Staring at people’s crotches and obsessing over your problem is a way to get more obsessed and spend more time with it. Move in the opposite direction.

    Good luck, every single person can do this. But many will not, content to wallow in their ailments with the rest of them.

    • Cody September 28, 2019 at 7:57 am - Reply

      Wow I just read your comment bill. I have been dealing with this myself since late 2016ish 2017.. I have been seeing a psychologist now for 10 months almost. I stopped watching pornography for the most part. I changed my diet and now I am doing the carnivore diet because humans are carnivores. I think my issues started because of my old diet and my current girlfriend at the time. And also pornography..so my ex girlfriend had a nice butt and I liked looking at it every day. After a while I stared paying more attention to other females that would wear leggings and I would stare. So I guess that went on long enough that after a while it was engrained into my head and so it some how passed to me being nervous around males and one day out of the blue I caught myself being nervous with a male coworker trying to help me and he was standing in front and I glanced and became nervous. This happend 2 or 3 times with him but I was some how able to get past this and still be friends with him and hangout. I ended up leaving that job and after a while I found a new job and within 2 weeks I was doing it again every day with one of the other guys. I tried staying at the job and I did for about 8 months. Eventually I lost the job and went to jail..got out and now I am still dealing with this problem and trying very hard every day to solve it. I am looked at as a nobody here where I live. I am strong though and I want to make it past this issue. I’m 30 years old and want a good life with a family some day

    • Anj November 1, 2019 at 12:15 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your beautiful advice..

    • Tina December 16, 2019 at 6:25 pm - Reply

      You must not suffer with this type of OCD because I have told myself over the years so what I’m staring and I don’t care what people think and to just live my life. However your co-workers and Boss do not think the same so basically I’m scrubbing toilets instead of living my best life with my bachelors degree. I just want to be able to function in real life and not have this addiction. I compare it to alcoholism or drug addiction. Relatives and friends can tell an alcoholic to just stop drinking and live your best life but realistically that’s impossible without some sort of treatment.

  7. Asim August 27, 2019 at 6:07 pm - Reply

    I have enjoyed reading it , the exercises are helping me greatly , i will keep you posted of my progress

  8. Moses August 29, 2019 at 2:57 am - Reply

    Hey Jessica I’ve

  9. Madhur Thapliyal September 11, 2019 at 4:55 pm - Reply

    I can’t say how much I suffered.. I read this article onlg when I was thinking to plan suicide.. I lost one job due to this…I lost my relationship …..I lost my confidence…I lost everything…

  10. Cheryl October 27, 2019 at 12:39 pm - Reply

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this disorder and what’s worked for you.

    There’s a clinic in Los Angeles, California that treats staring ocd. This is one of their articles on the topic: http://laocdtreatment.com/answer-to-nina-about-compulsive-staring-at-privates/

    The article states the disorder is not unusual. Targets of OCD are often focused on what might be most threatening to us. Trauma may play a factor. People experience fear, shame, and a strong desire to control their behavior. I’ve also read it’s usually those who have a strong conscience who end up in this vortex.

    In my early years, I got the message that the human body was bad and shameful. That included mine.
    I didn’t have a relationship with my father. He was present, but he was more of a drill sergeant. I think our first real conversation was at age 16. That conversation ended quickly, because he didn’t like my brief answers.
    My first three boyfriends were pushy, manipulative, and self-centered. One had a chip on his shoulder and likely used me because he was mad at life or mad at himself for messing up his life. The second was always putting me in bad situations, and the third was just jacked up.

    I think these things made me more susceptible to this form of ocd.

    My recommendations: drop folic acid. a clinician said it’s bad for those with ocd. it can create excitability, which is the last thing we need.
    drop all caffeine. gets some counseling. listen to the person. breathe. try to not focus on yourself. add in some cal/mag.

    (I wonder if this a form of social anxiety?)

  11. Cheryl October 27, 2019 at 9:35 pm - Reply

    Imagine you got bit by a Rottweiler and lost a few fingers in the process. How would you react when you saw another one at the park, running toward you unleashed? I’ve gotten bit by a number of men. Sometimes my lower brain kicks in and it takes everything in me to talk myself down from the tree. For me, I think that’s at the root of my ocd, along with shame expressed and conveyed through my caregiver. So, next time someone comes across as crass, give them the benefit of the doubt. Imagine their lower brain has taken over and they’re up a tree. You can help them down by not hoovering or towering over them. Cut them some slack. They just want to get back to “normal”. The last thing they have in mind is degrading another person.

    Remember, it’s usually those who have a conscience who end up with this disorder. Pervs could care less and enjoy making others uncomfortable. The rest of us are mortified by our inadvertent staring/glancing. Some of us would prefer a disorder like alcoholism, than something that’s as offensive as ocd staring.

  12. Kyle Henry November 6, 2019 at 4:12 pm - Reply

    I swear this information has to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ive been suffering with this disease for many many years, just that no one knew about it. Now in the past few months people have picked up and literally think that I’m full on under cover GAY!!!! Painful stuff, especially when your own family think so too. I think they all probably think that i would love to have a huge orgy with every single one of them, lol thinking of it now is kinder funny but extremely sad at the same time. At work its the same story. I have literally no friends cause of this. I am seeing someone but i can tell that she starting to believe it too. I honestly have no idea how it started but its gotten to the point where id like to end it all cause i can’t take it anymore. This information is so helpful, i have to use it. Just hope it works for me as it did for you. Thank you so much for this.

  13. Carson November 21, 2019 at 7:45 am - Reply

    Has anyone found any medication that has helped?

  14. Phillip January 1, 2020 at 9:53 pm - Reply

    Hi All,

    For those who are still dealing with this form of Staring OCD – I believe that I can help. I have experienced this for the past 5 years and I truly believe that I’ve improved my symptoms significantly (roughly 80%-90% improvement since 2014).

    I’ve experimented and studied this type of OCD and I believe that I’ve found a handful of treatments that can certainly help you as well, such things include daily meditation for mindfulness, prescription medications, GABA supplements, and general healthy living.

    For myself, it wasn’t a quick cure. But I know without a doubt that we can improve your condition the same way that mine has been improved.

    I don’t want you to be scared anymore. I want to help.

    If you want to speak with me more on this please email me at: becalmandfearless@gmail.com

    We can do this.

  15. Owen James West January 13, 2020 at 1:38 am - Reply

    This has plauged my life for far too long. Tired of people thinking I’m gay or that I’m some sort of creep. Just want this to be over already!

  16. Tony January 21, 2020 at 10:43 am - Reply

    wow…i think you all should be relieved in knowing that other people deal with what you deal with. who cares what people think. you don’t owe anyone anything. You owe yourself happiness and that’s that. A genital area is nothing more than any other area on a person. If that is what you see when you see a person then so what. Talk to them and if you connect, you connect. if you don’t, then you don’t. You’ll find out that the only thing that is haunting you is you. The only person making your life miserable is you. Whether you stare at someones crotch or someones eyes, neither will determine whether they will accept you or not. Neither will increase or decrease your odds of being liked or disliked. So let’s all get over it and keep it moving. There is nothing wrong with any of us and if I meet you, I will think you are the greatest person in the world and that you are a human being and not a monster! Cheers!

  17. Kimberly Wiley January 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm - Reply

    Everyone’s comments have hit home for me. I’ve been suffering from this for years. My friends and e think I’m gay, or some kind of freak. I’ve been so isolated that I really don’t want to leave my house. This problem has cost me relationships, marriage, jobs, and friendships. For so long I thought I was the only one suffering and was scared to ask for help, let alone the was actually a name for it. I need help. Someone help me please. I will follow your advice. Please.

    • Nexus April 18, 2020 at 5:47 pm - Reply

      It’s same things what you said, since years gave up many things now isolated from everyone close

  18. Betty February 11, 2020 at 5:53 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much!

  19. LW March 18, 2020 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    This seems very helpful! I have already started. However I was wondering, when I am imagining a setting or person do I do this with my eyes closed or open? Do you do all of these with your eyes closed to better imagine the situation?

  20. Amho April 8, 2020 at 10:20 pm - Reply

    Help me

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